Ah, pregnancy. That time of a woman’s life where everyone she has ever met, even for just five minutes, feels well placed enough to offer up some advice on the highs and lows of pregnancy and what she should be doing or preparing for as an expectant mother. It has driven me insane the times I’ve been pregnant and I bet you’ve felt the same way too if you’ve ever encountered such a situation whilst pregnant.
But how can we deal with this unsolicited advice?
Be Polite But Firm
If the advice is well meaning, the best way to deal with it is to be polite but firm. But knowing what to say can be hard. Thank them for their input but let them know that you’ve already made certain decisions or choices when it comes to your baby and whilst you will take their suggestions on board, these choices are unlikely to change. Most people will usually wish you well with your pregnancy and drop the subject.
Occasionally you will get the odd rude comment – however it may not have been meant to be rude. Pregnancy is a very vulnerable time and sometimes people can say things that make us lack confidence in our abilities. The best option here is to remain polite but try to shut down the conversation as quickly as possible before moving – excuse yourself and walk away, no matter how tempting it may be to retaliate back.
Consider listening
Whilst most unsolicited advice usually contains stuff we just don’t want to hear or aren’t interested in, it is important to listen and not dismiss everything. Sometimes you might be told a gem of information that you wouldn’t have otherwise known. This little bit of information may be advice you impart to pregnant friends or family in the future – we all do it!
Keep your humour levels up
Sometimes when people make a snarky comment under the guise of advice, you may want to bite back. Humour is great in this situation as it lets them know you know exactly what you are doing but stops you from seeming defensive.
Be honest
You can simply be honest with people too. If they’re being rude, let them know they are upsetting you. If they are offering you advice that is completely opposite to your plans, let them know that you aren’t planning on doing what they are suggesting. Honesty is the best policy.
Ask a friend or family member for help
If you are feeling uncomfortable with how a conversation is going but don’t feel confident enough to deal with it yourself, let a friend or family member excuse you from the conversation so you can avoid any awkwardness. A friend or relative will always know when you are feeling uncomfortable and should be able to help you out by turning the conversation in another direction or by pretending they need you to help them with something.
What is the worst case of unsolicited advice you received during your pregnancy? Have you got any horror stories?
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